i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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