Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
