sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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