And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
