you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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