Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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