We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
