Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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