Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
