I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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