i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
