Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
