Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
