therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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