How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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