am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize