When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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