She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
