I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
