ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
BRING THE BAGELS
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Panties = found
Randomize
