pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
