I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
