i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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