very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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