well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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