But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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