Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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