i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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