You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
