God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
