Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
