4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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