Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
