So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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