Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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