my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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