Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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