So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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