she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it's like iHOP with fire
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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