I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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