did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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