Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
