I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
