Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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