he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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