Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
