i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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