I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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