glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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