You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
