people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
