break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
