Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
