Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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