i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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