the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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