You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Don't make out with my wife yet
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
