never play flip cup with pint glasses
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
