the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
