If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
ugly people sure do ruin things
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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