Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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