Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
