that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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