we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
