I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
