I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
