How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize