So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
ttyl tear gas
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
